Daughter... it's late, and yet here we are, awake, with thoughts running through my head. I just got signed off and approved to homebirth with you. I'm really ecstatic that everything seems to be falling into place. Your nursery is very close to being complete, the birth supplies are all stacked and ready to be organized on birthing day, and people have showered you with love and trinkets to celebrate your coming.
This birth, this pregnancy; I have called myself selfish prior to now with it, but that description is inaccurate. It's far beyond selfishness that I consider this birth. This birth is sacred. How you come into this world is something that, as I delve deeper within my heart and mind in these last weeks, is rooted in love and calmness. I want nothing about your arrival to be rushed through, to feel pushed, to feel like I'm on anyone else' time table but yours. This birth is your birth as much as it is my birthing. To be apart of something so monumental in your life, as the beginning of it, is ominous, but is also something that I cherish with great humility. I've never been more content, more at peace, more ready to greet you, my little love. You have some cooking time left, but with that 'yes' came a rush of relief that I will not be forced back into a world of clocks and charts, of people waiting, of someone else' expectations or desires. That you and I will work together, and bring forth a new life into this family.
I want to reach down and pull you out of the birthing waters. To be the first one to touch you, to drink in your scent, to wipe the vernix into your skin. To hold you, birth your placenta, and keep everything calmly in place until it is time to separate. It is my honor. I want to tap into our great grandmothers, and the ancestors that walked the paths before us; to celebrate the rite of passage that is birthing. Women are the great carriers of life. We have the gift of carrying two hearts within us at the same time, and then bringing that life earthside. It is a profound gift to be a woman in this way. From the first breath of air, to the first menarche, to the first baby, the gift of fertility has spanned generations of women before you; and it was not until I realized that I am passing this blessing into another life, into you, that it hit me how important this task of womanhood is. You, my child, are a strong one. You are a daughter of this house, but first, a daughter of God.
I hope that you receive all the benefits of the sanctity of your birthing day; that you come into the world and feel completely at ease and loved by those surrounding the waters. How lucky and blessed are we to have such support and strong women to be present. How amazed you will be when your grandmothers hold you for the first time the coming days after. How adored by your father and brother in the first hours. How indescribable it will be to behold you in the first moments as no other person in this world but your mother can.
I love you, beautiful, confident, you.
Posted at 10:50 pm by Candy